Friday, October 19, 2012

{day 19} where I tell you how the worst got the best of me...

I had today off.

I took a vacation day to clean my house. We are heading out of town bright and early in the morning and I desperately wanted my house to sparkle before we pulled out of the driveway.

But before the day got started good, I allowed my worst to get the best of me.

I was overwhelmed and still tired and grumpy.

Grumpy because of the overwhelming amount of housework that needed to be done. On my day off.

It didn't make any sense for me to be grumpy over it because I had planned to do housework.

And yet I was grumpy. Awfully grumpy. I was snippy with my husband because he asked me to iron a shirt. I was snippy with my toddler because she couldn't take off a pair of pants by herself.

Seriously?!!! She's a baby. Why in the world did I get snippy over the simple things?!!

Ugh! And then I was mad at myself for allowing the worst to get the best of me. Really mad.

I stopped.

Right in mid-iron and prayed for a major attitude adjustment. I did not want my day to be covered with the heaviness and gloom that I had allowed to enter my morning. I needed to stop it before it got worse.

I scooped up my baby girl and apologized for how imperfect and flawed I was. I apologized for expecting too much of her. I apologized for speaking to her in a tone of voice that was not loving or caring or kind.

And then she gave me the best response. A gift, really.

She extended me some grace.

'Otay, Mama.' As her hand patted my back.

'Wuv chew.'

Jesus offers us the same kind of grace each and every day. It is a gift. An undeserved {and sadly, all too often unappreciated} gift.

This morning, before 8 o'clock, I was hit in the face with the ugliness and selfishness and darkness that lurks in my heart. It reared its ugly head and I allowed it to do some damage.

And then, I asked for forgiveness. Both from my daughter and my Savior.

And now that the house is clean, I will seek forgiveness from my husband.

For those of you wondering about the Mt. Laundry, I am happy to report it has all been sorted, folded and put away.

I'm ending this day with a clean house and a much better attitude. I am so grateful for a Savior who is faithful and forgiving.

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