a matter of life and death...

i've wrestled with it for over two weeks now.

fought it.  pushed it down. begged it to go away.

and spent a lot of time in prayer over how exactly to deal with it.

the trouble is this.

the enemy is using this to tear me apart.

to question myself and who my true friends are.

to question my church and the areas in which i serve.

i'm still not sure i have the answer.

in my heart, i know it is all the work of the enemy.

but my head is a different story.

however, over the course of the past couple of weeks, i feel the gentle whisper of the One who knows.

giving me these words to help my head and heart reconcile with one another.

the words we speak really do have the power to heal or kill.

with each syllable we have a choice.

to breath life-giving encouragement into the hearts and lives around us.

to use our words to build others up in love and grace.

we choose to string together a beautiful gift when we speak in love.

or we can throw a grenade.

sometimes without even knowing it.

the simplest of sentences or often the words we intend as a joke can rip apart the tenderest of hearts.

when we are careless with our words, hearts are broken.

relationships are shattered.

and trust is severed.

truth be told, i have thrown a lot of grenades.

probably more than i can count.

and some i am not even aware.

because there was a time when i could care less the damage my words caused.

but today, i shutter to think of the hearts my senseless words have broken.

somewhere over the years i learned an invaluable truth.

my heart is the wellspring of life.

and the words that flow from my lips come directly from my heart.

i try my best to choose carefully. 

to offer a gift with my words.  both spoken and written.

do i get it right all the time?  goodness no.

but my deepest desire is for my words and thoughts to be pleasing to the One who knows my heart.

i am still picking through the shrapnel left from harsh words spoken.

more and more each day i am tuning my ear to hear His grace.

my heart is in a posture of prayer for the words i choose and for the ears in which they fall.

moment by moment, i am learning that our tongues can set ablaze a community.

and we can be completely oblivious to the spark we started.

in one breath we praise Him.

with the next, we put down those created in His very image.

what might happen if every word we chose set hearts ablaze for Jesus?  could you imagine?

may the words i choose point others to Him.  imparting grace and offering encouragement to all our fragile hearts.  may i be intentional with my words, never careless or without thought.  and may all the words be an overflow from a heart that longs to please Him.