gazing...

If I gaze long enough, I can get lost in the ocean of her blue eyes. 

Almost as if I am drowning in the waves of my emotions.  The depth of my love is as vast as the waters.  And I am soaking up every moment like a sponge.  I find myself splashing in the richness of this gift of motherhood.

I watch intently as she makes sense of this world.  Chubby hands discover new things.  Toddler legs get faster and faster as she glances over her shoulder to see if I am chasing her.

I am.  I always do.

But in that moment, I recognize the beauty of the race.  The thrill of the chase.

All too often, we are off and running, too busy focused on what lies behind us.  We glance over our shoulders, wondering if the things behind us were a better option.  Or we wonder if we can run away fast enough.  Or we run to forget while still looking to see if it is there.  Either way, our focus is not on the direction we are headed.

'So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather,

we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.

For the things we see now will soon be gone,

but the things we cannot see will last forever.'

2 Corinthians 4:18

We must look ahead.  And keep running. 

Into the arms of Jesus.  

We must seek Him.  Everywhere we turn.  Even in the darkest spaces.  We must seek Him.  Pursue Him.  Like there is no tomorrow.

Amongst the mounds of laundry and dirty dishes and inches of dust, she follows me from room to room.  She'd rather be in the room with me than playing with toys.  She stays close.  Right under foot.  Several times I think I might stumble over her.

And as I reflect, it hits me. Square between the eyes.  And directly to my heart.  I long to be the same way with Jesus.  Right under foot. I want to follow Him.  Everywhere.  Everyday. 

 

'I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made.

But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ,

who has so wondrously reached out for me.

Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this,

but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus.

I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.'

 Philippians 3: 12-14 (MSG)

I certainly do not have it all together.  I am definitely not an expert.  And you can bet that I do not have it made.  But I am running.  And I'm not looking back.  I have focused my eyes on Jesus.  He beckons me.  And I choose to follow.